I love India, love chennai and love going back for a vacation as often as I can. When I came to do my Masters in the US, I wanted to go back within 6 months. I never thought this land would be home. Home to me was always back in India. When I went home after a couple of years later, I still knew my heart would always belong here. I thought this would never change - that I'll always be a visitor here in the United States and my "home" would be where I was born and brought up - India!
I was surprised to find myself proved wrong. The first visit after my marriage was a very short one, so I did not even have time to think or indulge myself in thoughts of any kind. My second trip after the baby was a slighter longer one -to celebrate the happy occasion of my dad's 60th birthday. I loved every minute of it and would not have given it up for anything,..... but that was the first time I started feeling a little uncomfortable after a couple of weeks. I suddenly realised that when I refer to home, I refer to my actual home in the United States- our first home that my husband and I bought together. Don't get me wrong - I am quite happy visiting India and love to stay there, but I no longer think of that as my permanent home. I get a feeling of uselessness by the third week in India - I feel some kind of irresponsibility just idling my time and as much as I though that would please me , it simply does not:)
Weird huh? So there is some truth to the saying that "The bride leaves her birth home and gets a new home after marriage" ! - at least in my case.
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5 comments:
This is interesting...but you know Peeps everything changes with time..maybe you will come full circle and want to go back someday :)
Well..in my case,though I worry abt the practicality of adjusting to life back home ,I have a very stong sense of belonging to India which hasnt changed yet..I guess each of us are different that way.
I am adding the link to this long article by Shoba narayan incase you havent read it yet...check it out when you get some time...its long :)
http://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/india/papers/Return_to_India.pdf
Anjali,,
I dont think I meant India and US as home and nonhome. I meant my actual house in India. If my house had been in the US, I woul dhave still felt the same way.
If I bought my first home with Dh in India, that would be my home.. not my parent's home.
that's what I meant.
I still have my sweet spot for India and if Dh wants to go back, u bet i'll drop everything here... but I want to go to OUR home.. not his or mine.
I have read that article somewhere before. love it. well written illa
gotcha girl :)
Yea thats a really well-written one !
maybe its the feeling as you said you got it yourself together..that makes it all different I guess....but nice to know how it is always!
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