Man, Woman and Baby

If you are a baby, you can get away with many things in life!. You are very cute even for the silly things you do, no one wants to berate you or beat you, you are the apple of everyone's eye and you can eat as much as you want without worrying about your weight.
The problem is when Men think they are like babies, or want to be treated like one.

Baby : Drops an entire pack of cheerios on the floor moments after woman has cleaned it twice and polished the juice stains left by man earlier during the day.
Man : Follows baby, only its chips this time.
Woman : Sweeps the baby up, blows a million kisses and playfully even congratulates it.
Man : Wondering why he was not treated the same way, but was instead left with broom in hand after a few irate words that matched the tune of chips breaking inside his mouth.

Baby : Bites woman's nose and starts clapping hands
Man : Tries to kiss woman to make it better
Woman : says oooooooooh to the baby, another million kisses, claps along with the baby and walks away
Man : Wondering why he got a book to read on Post partum depression, along with a bite on his nose

Baby : Kicks woman on her face, arms, tummy in the bed
Man : Touches woman with little finger to attempt a massage
Woman : Holds the baby, cajoles for sometime, million kisses again, wraps baby in blanket, sings and puts the baby right next to her
Man : Wondering why he is in the other room on the floor, with the postpartum book again and this time a few lines highlighted in Bold.

Baby : Stares at ceiling, kicks hands and legs and giggles endlessly
Man : Stares at TV, giggles at the comedy channel
Woman : Claps her hands, million kisses again and keeps taking pictures and encourages baby to giggle at nothing.
Man : Wondering why he is in the kitchen, with a cookery book, a spatula and the postpartum book

Baby : Screams at the top of its voice for Milk, or maybe diaper change or maybe nothing
Man : Asks to pass the dessert a little closer to him on the table
Woman : Pleads with the baby, Dances to the baby, feeds baby , cleans after baby throws food, million kisses again
Man : Really wondering why he is sitting in the garage with his dog sympathizing with him, postpartum book in its mouth

Baby : Soils the brand new silk duvet on the bed
Man : does nothing
Woman : Cleans baby, cleans cover, puts new cover, million kisses, sings to baby, covers baby in blanket and puts it on the same bed again.
Man : Has absolutely no idea why he is locked in the bathroom with a "Dont even think about it" note stuck on the post partum book.